What do I really want out of life? Right now I have everything I could ever want but I don’t see it all the time bc I get to focused on the ‘list’ I need to do.
I really want more time with my kids. I want to work some from home or just part time to achieve that; however I can’t right now. Full time to get benefits is where I’m at. My kids need to be with other kids and I don’t want to take that from them. But I need to be with them as well. Only getting my few hours after work and weekends feels like nothing as time flies by. I have a 2.5 yr old who I swear was just a baby yesterday. Now I have a dancing, plane and car loving little man who needs his mommy to rub his face to go to sleep nightly. At least I still have that piece of my ‘baby’ boy. My little girl is now walking and doing her best to talk. Time flies by so fast, I forget I had no babies just 2.5 yrs ago.
I know paying off this mortgage is our best move right now, but 5 yrs makes my babies almost middle school aged. It’s so difficult.
We really just want to try a new lifestyle in a new place. Things stopping us: family is here, have to rent out house or sale, have to find jobs, and the hardest is figuring out how to find a cheap COL state like ours here. I’m so scared about daycare and good schools. I’m also afraid that I couldn’t get as good as a job as here. In my mind I’ve always told myself, if I have to work and be away from my kids then I should always try and get as much $ as I can being away from them.
It gets very depressing in my mind wanting it all but not being able to get it all. I know I want my kids, but I need them to have a good life that I want for them.