This week has included another first of lasts. This week I have completely all together have stopped pumping. Our ‘baby’ girl is now a toddler; she turned one last month (including a visit to the ER for mom which is a cool $200, ergh). She has weaned herself last month and refused to eat straight from me. When we would come home from daycare, she would vomit after she just had a bottle and she did this for a few days on and on. It just seemed like the breast milk was causing an unsettle with her stomach and the solid food she was eating. After she weaned, it was another first of lasts. Now this week after I stopped pumping for her and the last couple of times I just put down the drain, it was another first of lasts. 😦 It’s a feeling of my baby doesn’t need me anymore and it actually makes you depressed. With my son, we eventually cut back feedings and gradually he weaned himself and refused, but it wasn’t as drastic as our little girl.
That pump has been through a lot; from a replacement and crying and screaming and doubt and confidence. I don’t know if I want to sell it; but I know I need to. We don’t plan on having any more children right now as 2 healthy and happy ones is pushing luck as it is. Additionally even though I wouldn’t mind, the good ol’ wallet dictates what is possible. I just received the total payment for daycare last year along (with a few months our little girl was with me on maternity leave) and it was ~$13K+. That’s more than what we paid on our mortgage last year alone! Right now we get to get settled and feel more comfortable. I know that breastfeeding has saved us a lot of $ as well along the way. I also know that I could always easily find another pump (or I would probably want to buy one) if ever there was another addition to our family. It might take a few days, weeks, or months, but I have to come at ease with the pump and break away from it as well. I have been married to that pump for a good part of the past 2 years with only a few months break between the 2 kids. Overall that pump has been apart of half of my marriage so far….I will sell it, but not today.